Stalking
By Debbie “TNT” Kirk
Must admit, the pickings have been thin around Debbie’s stalking pool. However, I did have one really weird experience and acquired myself a stalker for a little over a week. But, I eventually ran after him with a kitchen knife in my hand, jumping over the fence like a goddamn maniac. Here’s a little poem like dealy on the 411 wit dat.
Who says I have no life?
So today I was sitting in my secluded room
In the garage behind the house
Smoking out
Listening to music with my window open
And trying to get some writing done.
I was really high
So my response was pretty delayed
But this kid stuck his
head in my window.
Now, the only thing behind
the garage
Is a creek, its all fenced off too
This kid looked to be about 19
And he was a little high
And very confused.
I asked him what he needed.
He said he needed to get high
Well, just last night
Someone smoked me out
So I figured I’d
return the favor
I told him to come
Around to my door
But he climbed in
my window anyway.
I got him good and high
and he sat in my beanbag
Watching aqua teens
I was writing.
He mumbled a lot.
I couldn’t make out all he said
At one point, though, he did mention
That he was only 13.
And that he had also skipped school
that day
High school
8th grade
and this is all getting to be a little too much
for my burnt brain cells
to take
I told him
he needed to get going
He asked for a cigarette
And a lighter
And a pipe
I gave him a cigarette
He asked to see my tattoos
Stalling
Yadda yadda
He asked if I had my nipples pierced
“No”
He asked if he could see them
“No” I said and laughed
“Listen sweetie, you’re too young
you need to get the hell out of here.”
“I have my balls pierced.” he said
“Go” I said
“You can’t rape the willing….” He said
“GO! I have to take a shower”
“Can I take a shower with you?”
“Listen boy, you cant go
climbing in peoples windows
asking for drugs and sex.
You might find some freak, someone dangerous.”
Then I realized,
He had come to MY window
And I started laughing out loud
Hysterically
Uncontrollably.
He left and I closed
my window and
Wondered what my
knick name would be in jail
For showering with a
random underage kid
Who climbed in
my window to get high.
I really, really
Gotta get out more.
Yeah so, that was that. However, next month I go to LA for some photo shoots, to goof around, and hopefully see the Pixies. Here’s the deal. We all know Jack Black lives there and I will end up in jail. But its all part of my plan. If anyone knows ANYONE ANYONE in the LA area they would like stalked, and have at least SOME contact for the person. Please email me. Tis the season to stalk for others, and I know you sick fuckers have got some good culprits in mind.
Debbie TNT Kirk
Why do I not own a cape?
The minute you think that something
You want to say
Will offend people
Fucking scream it
In a mall
Stutter
Spit
And snarl
But say it.
Nice things
Are easy to come by
“Nice hair.”
“Good Job.”
But our time here
Is short
I would much rather someone
Help fill my days
With random obscenities
And acts of pure insanity
Than stroke my ego.
People who don’t know how
To wrestle demons
Will ultimately die
Of mediocrity
Insane people
Think they know how to wrestle
Demons
And will die alone
Thinking at least they escaped mediocrity
And also
Thinking they are retired wrestlers.
I’m a shitty roommate
What is this thing
That you call
On my fucking face
A smile?
Well, it hurts.
I’m not a girl you date
I’m something you swallow antibiotics
To try to get rid of
When you rub elbows with me
On the bus
You can see my future
My roommate was giving me shit
The other day
And this is what I said
“You advertised that shithole room
for a “starving artist. This is what you get.
I’m an asshole, I pay all my bills (just a little late)
I’ll smoke pot all day
I’ll eat all your food.
But in case you didn’t know
This is art happening
Right below your eyes.
So, are you gonna be a dick about this?”
You might like to call me “eccentric”
Cause that sounds cooler to your friends.
The truth is
My insanity is 100% manufactured
With a twist off cap
That says
“Sorry, please play again.”
If I were you
I’d come out into my dungeon
And take a picture—
It will last longer.
Perfection
Why can’t things
Just stay this way forever?
You in your corner
Me in mine
The perfect mutual existence
No shared space
Only the shared sadness and joy
Of the space between us.
I can send a tin can with yarn
Down from my tree house
And musical connections
Would be made
With our fingertips
In the same moonlight
Tracing the empty spaces in our beds
And never wanting
Or needing
more
don't miss Debbie's new book ---> I Hit Like a Girl
Debbie Kirk
